Wednesday, April 15, 2009

A Peaceful Heart

Last night I went with fellow French-Lemoners (my girls small group) to Fellowship to hear Cindy Easley speak. Her topic was "Finding Peace When Having a Panicked Heart." I wasn't super excited because I thought it would be a lot of fluff and I had just survived Chik-Fil-A's 99 cent Kids Night. (Actually, it is now a $1.50, but that will be another posting...) I am glad I did though.

Mrs.Easley went through these verses...

Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you. -Philippians 4:4-9

Verse 5 really sticks out. The word "gentleness" here is also translated as "reasonableness", "considerate", "forbearance", and "graciousness". In the midst of trials, sometimes it is hard to be a gracious person. People can stupid things to you. You might feel like a small person. It is sometimes hard to not just reach out and backhand those "all-knowing" people. But then sometimes, it is easy to be gracious because the blessings abound. And that is why I am writing this morning... I am so blessed.

Most of my readers know that I am halfway through radiation treatments for DCIS, which is common form of noninvasive breast cancer. To be honest... it sucks. There isn't anything fun about it. However, I have so much to be grateful for so I thought I would share these with you.

Leaving China wasn't easy, but what if I had been there now?
I got a wonderful job in October and it includes wonderful insurance. (Truly, truly thankful... Who knew I would ever be so flippin' happy about insurance?!?!)
85% chance this will stop growth.
I have met some incredible women who know what it means to overcome. (I get to celebrate today with my friend Estelle who is finishing her treatments this afternoon. Yea!)
My friends who have provided notes of encouragement, dinners, care packages and have just understood when I have fallen asleep when we get together to hang out.
The faculty here at my school has been too kind. I did not plan on or tell everybody, but one afternoon everyone was told at a faculty meeting that I was not present for. I have received an outpouring of concern. There is a teacher who packs lunch for me. My team has come up with a plan so I can leave early if needs be. The gym teacher comes to pick up my kids (a little much, but it is what he does ;) ) I get an email almost everyday from a co-worker who wants to provide me a little dose of cheer.
My kiddos (who don't know everything, but know that Ms. Quarles goes to the doctor each day) have loved on me despite my sometimes tired crankiness. I even got a hug from the kid that never hugs one day when I fell apart in front of them.
My family who understands my need to be independent, not overstep, but still manages to make me feel undoubtedly loved and supported.
The fact that this time in my life is nothing in the realm of eternity. Seriously, what is a couple of weeks compared to the life that I am promised?!

I have my moments of self-pity, brash anger, and times when I cry uncontrollably, but in the end there is a peace that in some ways cannot be explained except that it is in his hands... I am in his hands. My friends, I am truly grateful.


  1. Great post...I needed that! We all have our thing we are going through. My husband's job is in major danger. His company just declared bankruptcy and I don't work. So I understand the panicky anxious feelings. But I also know God is in control and it will all work out.