Monday, July 27, 2009

The Need To Be Beautiful

Sometimes a girl just needs to feel pretty... to be told she looks beautiful. Yesterday was one of those kinds of days.

I woke up early, opted on skipping the shower, threw on jeans, white t-shirt, and my Cubs hat. I headed out for my treatment sleepy, but happy because I got to drive through downtown. (I love Nashville.) After getting my room, a nurse came in to get all set up and I pulled off my hat. I went to fix my hair which had been messed up and instead lost some of my hair. It was not like just brushing and losing a few pieces in your brush. I didn't know what to say or do. The nurse turned around and saw me holding the hair. She knew immediately it was a first and flew over to give me a hug.

The radiologist says I might lose more or I might not.

I did not cry. Still have not.

I came home and took one of those showers where you waste so much water because with every spray you think things are going to get better. I needed to feel pretty. I shaved my legs. I put on a new dress. I was careful with my makeup. It did not help though. All day I felt gross. Just blah.

I don't write this for anyone to feel sorry for me. There is nothing to be sorry about. I knew it was a possibility. Instead, I write to process. I feel like I need to have these experiences written... to keep. I write to also say that sometimes a girl needs to feel beautiful.

1 comment:

  1. I totally understand what you mean and I hope that you are doing much better than you was, and a shower and some make-up sometimes help but not always. Its the way you think of life and what you do with it. Cause if you feel like you haven't achieve what you wanted no amount of anything will ever make you feel better. I know is a familiar phrase but live today with no regrets and do everything you wish without holding back and that will make you feel ten times better than how you felt originally. Good luck. Kim