Secret Confession #3

This one is a tad more serious than the other two...

I want to be a mom.

All of my friends and family probably chuckle at that because I have only talked about it all my life. Having 12 kiddos sitting around a big table, a son named Kermit, gallery walls of kid art, and birthday celebrations have all been dreams. I wanted a multicultural family before Angelina Jolie made it trendy. The movie Cheaper By the Dozen made me so happy I thought I could burst. But it is a little different now.

For a year or so, this "big talk" of becoming a mother has become more of an internal struggle. It makes me think that there is something to the whole biological clock ticking thing. It is really stressful because I am not near a place of healthily bringing a child into the world. Physically, it would not be good on my body being out of radiation just recently. Financially, it would be a nightmare. Complete nightmare. Spiritually, it would not be sound. My life is so unstable these days, it would be the worst idea. Ever. Being around nieces and nephew has not helped. I think I have scared poor J to pieces when I confided in him this struggle. Thankfully, he has been nice about the whole thing. He does not laugh or tell me I am crazy when that internal struggle rises up. On more than once occasion, he has squeezed my hand when he notices it in my eyes.

So for now I am just dealing with this struggle with prayer. Prayer that things will start falling into place.

This morning on Mother's Day, I woke up and put my walking shoes on. God and I had a long chat about the desires of my heart. I believe that one day I will be celebrating the amazing gift of bring life into this world on this holiday. Just time for me to be patient and wait for better timing and healthier situations. I only share this so if you have a minute you can squeeze me in your prayers and because I know of a couple of other girls who are have similar struggles.

Today I celebrate the mothers that have made a difference in my life and whom have taught me what it means to love and be a mother. Amy who brought me into the world and taught me the art of homemade love. Christy who taught me independence and importance of being a strong woman. Carole who taught me that family is not always of blood, but always of love and makes the best cookies ever. Renee who has been a blessing the past couple of years. Emily and Jessica who are great mothers and have great strength for their young years. And most of all for my Nana. She has taught me above all what it means to be a mother. For her love, devotion, and care, I am extremely grateful.

Happy Mother's Day.

Secret Confession #2

I want to slow dance to Ray LaMontage's Shelter.

Bless Turned To Bliss

Three things happened this week that I hate...

(1) DIBELS testing. 6 of us get to test 993 students on their reading fluency and comprehension. Same stories over and over. It takes about 5 minutes to test each child. I still have 6 classes to go. Bless.

(2) Faculty picture. Let's gather a bunch of teachers and staff who are ready to go home in tight quarters right after dismissal for 40 minutes. You find yourself complaining about all of those around who are complaining. Bless.

(3) School wide Fashion Show planning/rehearsals begin. Let's just say too many chiefs and 135 students participating. Worst organization. Ever. Bless.

But then something fabulous happened.

As I was stuffing 60-something bags for teacher appreciation gifts (not even gonna touch this one!), I felt the urge to stop and get chocolate (aka- I ran out of bags and had to go to store to get more). I peruse the aisles of Kroger's and somehow end up on the ice cream aisle. I decide I need some. I deserve some. Kroger's is phasing out Bryer's Mint Chocolate Chip (thank goodness I knew this ahead of time or I might have made news headlines!) so I go for Ben and Jerry's pints. But then it happened. A perfectly Zen moment. All of the yucky-ness of the week just disappeared. Kroger's, my Kroger's on Gallatin Rd. is selling Greater's Ice Cream!

::Happy Sigh::

While they did not have my favorite Black Raspberry Chip in stock, they did have the picture sticker for it. There is true hope.

I am so happy.

Thank you Kroger for bringing Cincinnati ice cream goodness into my Nashville life.

Secret Confession

Secret Confession...

I carried a Prince William stamp around in my wallet from junior year of high school until the week after my college graduation when I lost my wallet.

My heart would race when I was in town (Edinburgh, Cardiff, London, Windsor) and the flag was raised at any of the royals residences. (Flag means that that they were in town.)

I didn't pay much attention to anything anyone said while walking around the university in St. Andrews. My eyes were busy looking for something else. (He happened to go there at the time.)

My name is Elizabeth. The name is royal already.

If it had been anybody else my heart might have been a little heavy in the wee hours of Friday morning, but he married Kate. I am about as fascinated by her as I am him. Talk about stunning. I adore the little hats she wears with ease. I love how she has a quiet confidence about her. She has splendid taste. Her wedding gown... Sigh.

Heart is happy for the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge.

**All of this was before I was introduced to Anderson Cooper of course.

Portrait of Christ

I saw this on Donald Miller's blog this morning and it brought tears to my eyes. Perfect for a quiet reflection on this Easter weekend.

A Portrait of Christ from Jeremy Cowart on Vimeo.

Kites

Sometimes you have to have a little weekendish fun on a weekday! (Especially when you spent your morning giving Math TCAP tests.)

J's sister and brother-in-law are in town and yesterday was the perfect day to be outdoors. After tossing around some ideas, we settled upon flying kites when we learned that Janae had never flown a kite before. (What?!?!?!)

Of course, we stopped at Pied Piper for ice cream on the way home. Pineapple Basil is delish!

Perfect ending to a morning of Math TCAPing...

Sunshine

The weekend was exactly what I needed to recharge. The sun came out and it stayed in the upper 80's. So good for the soul.

Did anybody else feel that this was an especially miserable winter?

I have gotten behind in blogging and in cleaning and hope to start catching up again this afternoon.

May this week be much kinder to all of us...